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Children who have recently experienced a traumatic event are likely to show signs of distress. It is quite common, in fact normal, for children to display a wide range of physical and/or emotional reactions after experiencing a sudden disturbing event. Children may likely act or behave differently no matter if they were directly or indirectly involved in the event.

It is hard for young children to understand what has happened to them. Some may have completely mixed-up views of the situation, while others, depending on age and level of involvement, may have a clear understanding. The certain fact is that children in distress need your continued guidance and understanding to help them grow through this experience. How you help your child work through this difficult time may have a lasting effect.

Child looking out from tent – FEMA

It is important to be aware that young children can experience the same intense feelings that you feel about the traumatic event. All children react differently, even children from the same family. Some may show their feelings immediately, others will wait until a later time. Most children will be confused by all the sudden interruption to their routine. This is a very difficult time for them as well as you. Whatever their reaction, be assured it is normal for children to be upset and display feelings about what has happened to them.

These Focus Pages are designed to help you become aware of the various ways children may react to a traumatic event. Included, also, is a list of ways parents and caregivers may help children cope with reactions to these devastating experiences.

After a Traumatic Event Children’s Typical Behavior May Change

What You Can Do To Help Children Understand Their Feelings

Here’s an idea of how you can help your children after a frightening event:

Spend extra time with your children at bedtime. Read stories, rub their backs, listen to soothing music, talk quietly about some good things that happened that day, reassuring them that you will be there when they wake up. They may want to sleep with their favorite doll, teddy bear or “blankie.” And that’s OK.

HOW CAN PARENTS HELP CHILDREN RECOVER?

One of the ways we can help children recover from disaster or very frightening events is to help them recover their self-esteem. Children who experience traumatic events often loose some of their good feelings about themselves. This horrible thing has happened and they couldn’t do anything about it. They tend to loose faith in themselves as well as others.

Here are a few things you can do to help:

Help your children know they are valuable members of the family by asking their opinions on topics of conversation in the family. Listen carefully to their responses. They may surprise you!
Really listen to your children and acknowledge their feelings, without judging what you hear from them. Remember feelings are not good or bad. They just ARE and everyone has them.
Allow your children to help you with meaningful tasks. Children like to help but want something to do that is important to the life of the family. Make sure the tasks you ask them to do are developmentally appropriate. Remember they are young children even if they are eager to do more and more. And they will need your guidance.
Help your children feel good about their bodies and abilities. Talk with them about how they are growing up, how much more they can do now than before, and how nice they look in that color or in that style of clothing.
Allow your children to make choices. Allowing choices tells your children that you have confidence in their decision making. Be sure that you only give choices that you can live with. For instance, it’s not useful to give a choice of wearing anything in the closet but then you won’t approve if they choose to wear the very nicest piece of clothing they have. Limit the choices you offer.

I’m sure you can think of other ways to help your children feel good about themselves.

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